When the moment arrives and you don’t have a script, are you trying to impress or working to connect?
On today’s episode, Matt Abrahams, lecturer at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, host of the Think Fast, Talk Smart podcast, and author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter, joins Mike to discuss the psychology of being a great communicator when you’re put on the spot. For over two decades, Matt has studied a very common and very human problem: why so many of us lose access to what we know the second all eyes turn our way, and what actually helps us find our footing again.
The good news is that speaking in the moment is a skill, not a gift. Like an athlete, you can learn it and train it, and you can even prepare to be spontaneous. When you’re put on the spot, your body reads it as a threat and reacts accordingly. The practice is learning to meet that moment as an opportunity, to buy yourself a little space, and to turn the spotlight away from yourself and toward the person or people in front of you.
Matt shares the tools he teaches: what to do when your mind goes blank, a simple structure for organizing your thoughts under pressure, and a way of listening he calls pace, space, and grace. Ultimately, Mike and Matt land here: being present, staying grounded, and focusing on being in service of the other person is the big rock that makes communicating under pressure far easier.
In this conversation we learn:
- How speaking in the moment is a trainable skill
- What happens in the body when you’re put on the spot
- How to shift from seeing a moment as a threat to an opportunity
- The two tools to use when your mind goes blank
- The What, So What, Now What structure for thinking fast
- Why great listening is pace, space, and grace
Matt’s work is a reminder to all of us that the goal was never to sound perfect. It was always to connect.
“A lot of us feel like some people are born with this ability to speak in the moment, to be present and to really be engaging, but all of us can learn it. It’s a skill. And the irony is you can prepare to be spontaneous.” — Matt Abrahams
“One of the most important things about being a leader is giving yourself thinking time. Allow yourself, whatever it is, however you do it, whether it be at night, whether it be morning, whether you do it regularly each month, give yourself some clear thinking time.” – Eddie Jones
Resources + Links
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